The Monster Within
by Justagirl28
Summary: I wish I could tell you that Bella and I lived happily ever after, but I was wrong ... so wrong.


The Monster Within

_I wish I could say Bella and I lived happily ever after. I'd love to say that we raised our child in peace and that's where our supernatural fairy tale ends. _

_But …_

_Vampires are selfish by nature, if someone or something catches our eye we must obtain it. I'd been masking my desires for months now. I've a new hunger, it attacked me at night._

It all began at the first sight of her copper flesh. One night Jasper and I went out, just the two of us, to hunt and we inadvertently stumbled back onto familiar territory.

I wasn't in my right mind. I had allowed myself to be consumed by all things vicious and carnal. It was then that I laid my eyes upon her. She'd just transformed from beast back to her human form. She was such a glorious form, her curves where much more "womanly" than my wife's. She had curves and dips my hands itched to touch, and since I wasn't in my right mind I stalked her with aggression. She turned to face me and her eyes were bright with horror. I quickly pinned her body to a nearby tree and hitched her leg to my hip. I clenched both of her wrists over her head with one of my hands. I hissed my satisfaction at making her helpless. The nude, female shifter was too exhausted to phase back, and all of her attempts to fight for release where lame and a waste of time.

"Get off ME!" She screamed as she tried to pivot her hips and push me away from her. I derived a sick sort of pleasure knowing that she was vulnerable and defenseless. The more she squirmed, whimpered, and screamed, the tighter I held her in my snare. "GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING LEECH!" She began to sob, "Please." After a few moments she gave up her struggle. She knew that there was nothing she could do to stop me from devouring her. However, when she stopped struggling, for some reason I was left empty. I didn't want her numb, I wanted her alive and trashing. After a moment I felt as my brother ripped Leah and me apart. I fell back to the ground and watched as Leah slumped down where she had been standing, covered her face, and began to sob uncontrollably. I watched as my brother tended to her, offering her his shirt. Jasper gaped back at me in disbelief.

_What the hell were you thinking?_ he thought, clear as day. I shook my head. I wanted to have a logical answer but there was none. Even now that my rage had subsided I waited for a revelation, or at least guilt over what I had done, to kick in. I felt nothing, no remorse only confusion.

The sick thing was the hunger that now dwelled in me. Simple love-making was no longer enough. Although I knew I still loved my wife I didn't feel it the same way I once had. The hunger attacked the pit of my stomach. It was creating a new monster within me that didn't like being contained, it was selfish, vicious, perverted, and it wanted Leah desperately.

For over a month I've avoided Charlie's house. Sue and her children had moved in a couple weeks back. I couldn't even take my own daughter to see her grandfather for fear Leah would be there.

Bella was beginning to feel the distance and see the change within me. "What's wrong Edward? What can I do to change your mood?" Bella asked me one night as she attempted to seduce me. I wanted to tell her the truth. To alter my mood she'd have to become someone else and she'd have to let me attack her. Oh the naughty thoughts that consumed my brain, all of them surrounding my temptress and my desire to fuck her senseless.

I lied to my wife.

I bedded her roughly until sunrise but I was still not satisfied. This had become the cycle of my life, I'd become bitter and I hated the she-wolf because of it. The haunting memory of her flesh, her curves, had ruined my happily ever after.

My goal was to never see her again.

However, I knew that goal was impossible. Our families were now connected and it was only a matter of time before our paths crossed again. My daughter had grown fond of Leah. Luckily, she was a mature enough woman not to shun my daughter on the basis of my stupid, impulsive actions.

The simple fact that Renesmee enjoyed Leah's company had landed me in my current situation. Bella was supposed to have picked Renesmee up, but she and Alice were running late, doing whatever it was they do.

Night had fallen and I was about to knock on Charlie's door and I knew Leah was inside. I reached to rap my knuckles on the door when it swung open. There stood my temptress. The mere sight of her reawakened the monster and it infuriated and excited him at the same time. She was alarmed by my presence; she'd obviously been expecting Bella. Immediately our last encounter ran through her mind. She stepped to the side and allowed me into the house.

The living room lights were off and my daughter lay sleeping on the couch while the credits of some movie played. Leah grabbed the two large plastic bowls off the floor. As she bent over I surveyed her, she was wearing an extremely oversized button up flannel shirt, with a white tank underneath, and very, very short grey shorts. As I viewed her I imagined the buttons ripping off and falling to the floor.

She strolled into the kitchen trying her best to ignore me. In her mind she was calling me every profanity under the sun. This was my opportunity to make it right, to defeat my inner monster, and get Leah to forgive me for being a perverted cad.

I entered the kitchen behind her; she had her back toward me as she placed the bowls in the sink and gripped the edge of the counter. She refused to turn around and acknowledge my presence. I decided that I was going to have to speak eventually if my plan was going to work at all.

"Thank you for taking care of Renesmee," I said, trying to sound pleasant, likable even. She still said nothing. She was trying to control her temper. She didn't want to phase, she remembered what had happened last time. She couldn't afford to not have enough strength to fight me. Seeing myself through her eyes, my mouth was blood stained and my eyes were as black as coal. It was me at my darkest; no wonder she wanted no part of me. She still wasn't sure what I wanted from her that night, I wasn't either. Did I want to kill her, rape her, or both?

"I'm sorry… about that night." I willed myself to mean it, but the monster in me disagreed. He wanted to pick up where we'd left off. She began to shake all over and she sniffled slightly. Was she crying?

"Take your daughter and get the fuck away from me!" She whispered her words, but they were hard and nasty. I turned to leave but the monster in me was aroused by her vicious tongue and her hatred for me. I approached her quickly and forced her to turn around and face me. I had her pinned to the sink. I covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream. My monster was very, very much pleased. I held her tighter and her muffled screams and resistance only served to gratify him further.

"Listen to me! I'm not going to hurt you, I only want to talk. I want to be honest with you and myself. I'm NOT sorry, but I really want to be. I-" I was at a loss for words. "I want to make you scream. I want to make you squirm and fill your pretty brown eyes with tears while I fuck you harder than you can imagine. I want to hear you beg… beg me for more or to stop, I really don't care. I want you naked and I want to claim you as my own. I really wish I didn't want all this, but I do." Leah stared at me in shock; it was a lot to process. I felt some sort of sick release, revealing my darker side to her. I removed my hand from her mouth because she was too baffled to scream. She blinked a couple of times and then she slapped me. Oh, how the monster loved that.

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me." She squirmed. God, I wished she hadn't done that, the more she moved the more aroused I became. "Get off! Get OFF!"

"Stop! Shut up or I will fuck you right here where we stand." I shook her forcefully and then held her tightly to me. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to _want_ to hurt you." I grabbed and squeezed her behind and groaned in her ear.

"Oh God, you've gone crazy!" She whispered in horror. She placed her hands on my shoulders and decided on a new tactic. "Look, you are not yourself, you don't know what you're saying, and I forgive you. Just go grab your daughter and go home." She was talking gently as if trying to soothe a dangerous animal. Even the thoughts of my sweet, innocent Renesmee weren't enough to make my my hunger subside.

"I can't live like this. I've decided I must have you, Leah, and I can't deny this need to be inside you." I forcefully ripped her flannel shirt apart and the sound of the buttons hitting the floor was as sweet as I'd imagined, I closed my eyes and savored the sound.

"Edward please… listen to reason." I moved my hands from her bottom and allowed my hands to cup her breasts.

"I told you I love the sound of you begging, Leah, it becomes you. It only makes me want this more." I ducked my hands under her shirt and she frantically started trying to stop my hands' endeavor to explore her body.

"Please, no Please," she whimpered as my hands reached their desired goal. I pulled down the cups of her bra and allowed my cold fingers to stroke her nipples and cause them to pucker and harden. "Stop, what about Renesmee? Would you want someone to do this to her?" That statement rang through my head;, it cooled the beast momentarily. It was enough of a distraction for Leah to rush into the living room and wake my daughter and ruin our fun. I quickly exited the house. I couldn't let my child see me in my current state. I was a crazy, horny mess.

The monster in me was now angered and confused. My marital bed had now been replaced four times due to vigorous use. I can't remember the last time Bella and I "made love". I didn't know if she realized the difference in our activities, I wasn't sure if she cared. I only knew that when I entered her, and during our union I kept my eyes sealed shut and imagined she was my temptress. I imagined ruining her. I'd even gone as far as to move Bella's and my activities outside few times to try to recreate that moment. It wasn't what I wanted and the monster was not fooled or pleased with my attempt at trickery.

I'd come to the conclusion that I was meant to miserable forever.

My days became dry and I was becoming numb. I could barely respond to my own child. I was falling into the same depression I'd been in before I met Bella.

The next time I was placed in hell, aka Charlie's house, was two weeks after the night I had groped Leah in the kitchen. This time she was upstairs in the shower. I watched in her own thoughts as she caressed the more private parts of her body. To my surprise, she closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to drift to me. I saw us through her mind's eye; we were in the kitchen with my hands squeezing her breast. She had altered the memory, the need for her was still forceful, yet she saw me kissing her and touching her between her thighs, the same pace her fingers now explored and caressed. She pleasured herself to this vision and I committed her soft moans to memory.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" It wasn't until my daughter approached me that I realized that I was clenching the arm of the chair I was sitting in. I was sure I'd left a dent in it. Renesmee then wrapped her arms around me; I forced myself to smile at my child.

"Nothing, nothing sweetheart I was just thinking." I heard the shower water stop and Ness looked toward the stairs.

"Yay, Leah's out of the shower! I'm going to get her!" My daughter ran upstairs, to where I wanted to be. Bella was in the kitchen with Sue and Charlie and I was sitting in the living room, half aroused and mad as hell.

I finally made it home. Ren had decided she wanted to spend the night at Charlie's house. Again she was where I wanted to be. Bella was at the main house chatting with Alice and I was just sitting in the cabin and staring into the nothingness that was before me. Again I was numb and uncaring of the world around me that was until I heard a knock on my door.

I opened the door and she stood there with a frown on her face. "Is Bella here?"

"No, is there something I can assist you with?" Leah shifted her feet and huffed.

"Uh yeah, actually Renesmee left her favorite book. I decided to come and get it while she was at the movies with Charlie and Mom. She likes it when I read to her." Leah thought if she spoke of Renesmee nothing bad would happen to her; that my mind would stay focused on my daughter and not the skin tight black jeans and green cami that she was wearing. But unfortunately for her I could focus on many things at once.

"Of course, come in, and I'll get it for you." I tried to sound friendly, but my tone came off kind of creepy. I opened the door wider and she stayed put.

"Uh, I can wait here. It's not raining outside or anything." I smirked; Leah was a smart girl. If she'd come in I would've had my way with her.

"Right; one moment." I quickly retrieved the book and handed it to her. She reached out her hand to take it from me, and I wouldn't let go. She tugged again and I wouldn't budge.

"Beg me, Leah," I whispered. "If you want it you've got to beg. and I know you want it." She looked at me confused; she hadn't realized that I was there when we dropped Ness off.

"Give me the damned book! Why are you so damned weird? Can't you just be normal?" She pulled harder but the book was still held between us.

"I was. I was normal and happy with my life until you. This is your fault Leah; your body keeps taunting me with its essence. The mere thought of you excites me and it makes it hard for me to pretend to to be happily married when I all I want am to fuck the shit out of you." She sucked in a breath of air.

"Oh boy, okay, just keep the damned book. I'll find something else to do with the kid." She twisted around to leave, but I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't tell if she was uncomfortable, aroused, or a little of both.

"Take the book, Leah." I released it this time and grabbed her around her waist and pulled her inside my home.

"NO Edward, no," She partly yelled and squirmed. She was panting and there was a faint smell that was unique to our other encounters. I recognized it as arousal; her scent was much more intoxicating than my wife.

"Don't act like you don't want this. I saw your thoughts in the shower. You want my hands here." I squeezed her breasts and to her credit she tried not to enjoy it, she tried not to moan. Her flesh felt like it was on fire. I pinned her to our front door and snatched her shirt from her person.

"You're a perverted peeping fucking Tom." She moaned as my hands cupped her bra and then slipped my fingers under the straps to lower them. I noticed that she wasn't squirming nearly as much as she had during previous encounters like this, and in a part of her brain, deep down, she wanted this.

"Most peeping Toms are perverts." I shrugged my shoulders, indifferent to her accusation. "But unlike most, I can't help it, and your thoughts were so loud. I saw where you wanted my hands, Leah." I unbuttoned her pants and stroked my hand down her lower stomach. "You wanted them here." I slipped my fingers inside her panties and to her very moist center.

"You're not going to tell me to stop?" My fingers moved against her and her hips gyrated in a matching rhythm.

"Stop… don't," she said dryly. Surprisingly, her willingness to participate didn't affect my desire for her. It still raged inside of me. I parted the edges of her most private part and began to move my fingers in and out of her. "Oh!, Oh, yes." Her pleasure was such a sweet sound, I was already fully aroused and ready to please her. Increased my speed and my intensity, I almost wanted it to hurt, and she moaned like it did. "AH Edward, please…"

"What do you want me to do to you, Leah? Fucking beg for it!" I commanded.

"Kiss me Edward, please." I crushed my lips against hers. Again this was a new sensation, it was urgent, intense, and passionate, something that the kisses that I'd shared with my wife had lacked. I moved my mouth to her neck and began to twirl my tongue around allowing it to dance on her flesh. Both her hands were buried in my hair as I explored her.

"I'm going to fuck you right here, right now. I don't care if you beg or not, I just need to have you." I dropped to my knees and removed the remainder of her clothes. I stood quickly and removed my own pants. I lifted her by the hips against the wall and entered her with almost no problem. She was already extremely wet, I was just much larger than she was accustomed to taking.

"Ow! Shit," she exclaimed as I entered and began to mercilessly thrust inside of her. "Edward ouch, ow shit! Edward please… it's so good!" She'd wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and locked her ankles together.

"You like that don't you!" I had never spoken this way during sex before but I wanted to her say it.

"Yes, oh yes, Edward I like it!" She kissed me hard. I pulled away during the middle.

"Tell me you want more, you want it harder." I commanded.

"Edward, more… harder," she struggled to speak as I was still jostling her quite a bit. I moved us over to the couch, unlocked her ankles and positioned her so that I could enter her from behind. Leah's ass was one of the things that had caused me to break my damn bed.

"AH," she yelled as I entered her again. She agreed that my entering her this way was so much deeper, I had completely blown the back wall of her center, she was now modified to me and nobody else would ever lay hands on her. I gripped her waist and hammered on relentlessly. "Oh God Edward, I'm going to come! Please don't stop! Please…" I closed my eyes and listened as she begged me for her release and once she gained it, mine came only a few quick strokes after. She became limp as she rested her head on the arm of our couch.

The monster had been satisfied, but a new emotion had taken its place. I felt something warm and foreign for this woman. I turned her around and picked her up and cradled her as I sat on the couch. She kissed me softly and passionately. It was just what I wanted and needed from her. "Thank you," I whispered and she chuckled. "I mean it. Thank you for reawakening me, Leah. I was dying, becoming numb, and you started a scary but necessary fire inside of me." She tilted back her head and admired me.

"You made me feel so wanted Edward, so hot and kinky. I couldn't deny you if I wanted to, but this time I really, really didn't want to deny you anything. But know what. I really don't believe in being a home wrecker, but I'd really like to do this again," she confessed and I chewed my bottom lip as I gave it some thought. I agreed with her. The truth be told I wouldn't mind going again, right now.

"Give me a little time. I'll make things right. However, until then-" My erection now nudged her as she sat in my lap.

"Oh, please do," she kissed me once more.

"I do love the way you beg, Leah." Our next interlude was intense but much slower. I realized that by the end I was making love to my temptress and that somewhere in my dark seedy mind I had loved her all along. I was meant to be with her and I would never be able to leave.


End file.
